Totally Do-able!

Dearest Guide,

Okay, We've created two work/play/activity areas for our kids, one at table height (we put tape lines on our dining room table to define each kid's space) and on the floor (again, we used tape) as you suggested,  but everything still looks and feels a hot mess.  Where to begin?

                                                                  Signed,    Perfectionistic Procrastinator

Gentle Parent,

Try to feel my warm hug over the miles.  I am patting your back.  There, there.  There, there, there.  Deep breath in.....and out.   Everything is going to be great.  Today, things are going to get a bit better.  Tomorrow, too.  We can stop and rest whenever we want.  We need not ever be "done."  All you need do is make it better.  In one area.  You can do that.  Then, you can decide if you want to do more.

Let's begin with inspiring quotes by Dr. Montessori.  She said, "Order is one of the needs of life which, when satisfied, produces real happiness."  I agree and you must as well or you wouldn't have written.  External order in the environment of the young child creates internal order as they create themselves.  "The education of even a small child, therefore, does not aim at preparing him for school, but for life."  Maria Montessori       

  Even if we "only" create a few orderly shelves for your children's favorite playthings, it will help  your children to educate themselves from the inside out.  It will increase your children's independence as they can better serve themselves, needing no help to access and set up their activities.  It will encourage respectful use of the materials as the orderly shelf invites one to put it back properly and in its completeness. It's order and beauty will invite purposeful activity, bringing about concentration/absorption/flow which results in periods of normalization/self-regulation - that state in which the child's psychic energy is flowing as it was intended to - in service of the creation of an adult human. Gentle Parent, please re-read that last sentence, if you would.  I'll wait, it's wordy.  That is powerful stuff, is it not?  Spoiler alert, though; that state is fleeting and must be created again and again, through purposeful movement and activity.  Normalization can come about from doing math, dressing dolls, washing the tires on a car, writing a letter, stacking blocks. The "what" matters not so much as the "how."  The "how" is freely-chosen activity that is in the "zone of proximal development" (Lev Vygotsky 1896-1934): not so easy that it doesn't require focus and not so difficult that it is impossible.  The child may require a little help at first, too, then can take over and do it independently.  That independence allows them to work alone and get into that "flow" state. After the period of concentration/activity, when the child feels satisfied, there is an important period  as the child cleans up the activity, rests and/or socializes.  The brain is editing and organizing itself during this rest period.  By creating the conditions for this 3 step cycle, 1) choice and set-up, 2) the absorbing activity, 3) the cleaning up and rest, you are creating the conditions by which your child achieves their optimal and most natural development. 

Let's begin.  Think of your child's playthings/toys/activities as the merchandise in a store.  Every store has a display space and storage in the back.  That's what you need.  The display space is the space from which your children will choose their things and where they will put them when finished.  The storage space is where you will keep desirable items that at least one of your children will still find highly engaging and useful, but won't be offered right now.  It will be brought out later. 
You are going to rotate the stock, just like a fashion boutique, bringing out fresh items every now and then to replace items that you have observed are not being chosen or are not absorbing to anyone when they are chosen. 

STEP ONE:

Your first job is to create those two spaces, most likely by clearing them out.  What will be your children's display space?  Do they have toy shelves already? Let's empty them and start fresh. What about the cabinets flanking the TV in the media center?  Perhaps the DVD's and books could go elsewhere.  Or you can make like your first apartment and do the modular milk crate thing or the cement blocks and boards thing.  Maybe you have an impressive library amassed on a tall shelf.  The lower shelves could be for the youngers, the medium shelves for the elders and your lovely books could remain on the top two shelves. 

Ponder your storage space.  Where can you put art/office materials, toys and games to bring out later?  In labeled storage bins?  Put your storage containers where you can easily and joyfully access them or you won't rotate your stock. Your closet?  Your kids' closets?  Under the guest bed?  The garage seems cold and crowded and unjoyful.  Whoops!  That's MY garage!  Yours might be luxe!  Okay, you've got your first task - creating your display and storage spaces.  That's a lot, but you can do it.  I believe it is in your "zone of proximal development."  Don't forget to ask for help if you need it.  Maybe someone else in your household has an idea of where the kids could access their work. Maybe someone can help you clean out from under your bed so that can be used for storage.  When your spaces are cleared out and ready, report back here for the next step. 

STEP TWO:  Congratulations on accomplishing step one.  Do you want to take a nap? No?  OK.

Stock your display and storage areas.  You and the kids must sort through and evaluate their things.  This is a great time to get rid of things that no longer "spark joy" as Marie Kondo, the omnipresent organizer of our time, says.  But it can be hard to part with things and our sagging planet would tell you that there is no "getting rid" of anything.  This can be a bit stymying, but we won't let it.   I suggest you don't decide what to trash/gift/donate/repurpose at this time.  Just set some things aside for now.  Put your discards in the cold, unjoyful garage in whatever you have - trash bags, cardboard boxes (remember the COVID19 virus lives quite a while on cardboard) or a big pile and assure the kids that if they want any of it back in the weeks to come, it is all quite retrievable.

 Now we are just dealing with our most treasured items.  This is manageable.  Show the kids the display space that they have available, perhaps allocating a shelf for each child to stock.  They can put their toys here, organize art activities onto trays, into manila envelopes or pocket folders and baskets, create Practical Life activities on trays, in baskets or buckets,  stack boxed games and puzzles, etc.

 Activities, games and materials that did not "make the cut" this round can be organized and sorted into your storage containers.  If these need to be paper bags for now, that's okay.  Just be careful pulling them back out from under the bed.  Go ahead and label those paper bags with a marker "Paper Art Supplies," "Other Art Supplies," "Puzzles," "Games," "Action Figures" "Blocks/Building"  or whatever categories, more general or more specific, suit you.  Maybe some of the things that you are storing can go to other areas of the house where they are already stored?  Office supplies in the office, books in the bookshelf/basket, dolls and stuffies to bedrooms, dress up clothes to the dress up bag.  If your child becomes inspired and wants to swap out an item on her display shelf for an item about to go into storage, that seems okay to me.  Is it okay with you?  Every family is different.

  Okay, now we are running out of storage space and display space.  It's time to take another bag out to the TEMPORARY discard area.  Not everyone makes the cut.  And remember, lots of your kids' favorite activities probably live in other rooms - food preparation in the kitchen, folding laundry in the laundry room (or on the coffee table) and bicycle tune-up in the garage. 

STEP THREE:

Enjoy what you have accomplished with your family!  Later on, consider sorting through the discard pile.  In the coming days, observe what your children are genuinely enjoying and using respectfully from their shelves. Should you show a little thing that might help your child be more successful with that activity?  Or is there an element of the activity that could be improved upon?  Changing a hand towel in a washing activity to a more manageable washcloth, for example.  What might you swap out?  What would you replace it with?  What new activity would be fun to bring out of storage and put on the display shelf?  What is ready to leave and make room for the new piece of work?   Could an older sibling do one of their harder activities with a younger one?  Help them knit or weave paper or cut out paper dolls?   Or would that just be aggravating and not peaceful?  Every family is different.  Consider future changes you might make in other rooms to help your children be independent.  Accessible and safe food preparation activities in the kitchen?  Self-serve snacks?  A daily chore of setting and clearing/wiping the table?  Using the carpet sweeper after dinner?  Sweeping the kitchen after the dishes are done?  Measuring cups in the tub for bath math?  Brushing the family dog in the yard?  Maybe no changes for awhile. Rest.  Secretly eat a chocolate in the bathroom.  Don't crinkle the wrapper!

Did you hear the one about the parent reporting on how it's going at home?  "Homeschooling going not so well. Two students expelled for fighting.  One teacher fired for drinking."   Congratulating you for all your efforts, I remain,

Your Guide,
Doni

PS:    I address my readers as "Gentle Parent" in homage to Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, whose etiquette books I voraciously read in my youth.  She addressed everyone's inquiries with "Gentle Reader."