Congratulations, Graduates!

Dear Friends,

I am feeling the need to process my feelings regarding our end-of-the-year punctuation mark, our graduation celebration.  My heart is so full because our grads really got into the spirit of the event, that spirit being manifested in the awesome vehicle decorations we beheld!  I wish we could have all strolled around, like at a car show, and admired the fantastic artwork and party decor on display, but that would have been unwise and unsafe.  I think Jessica and  I got to see more of your efforts than anyone and I can testify to the excellence I saw.  So, thank you, everyone, for your enthusiasm and spirit.  I thank especially the two families of younger classmates who waited patiently to drive through and show their support of their elders.  I refrain from using families' names here in the blog, but you two families know who you are and you warmed my heart and those of us all, yes, you did! Thank you!

Here is a cute story:  As those of you who attended already know, Lisa Pierce, wife of Dr. Jim Pierce, pastor at the College United Methodist Church, recorded not only the ceremony itself, but the arrivals of our families as well as the departure of our "parade" after the commencement exercises.  She made that link available to me and I shared it with my bestie of 30+ years, Carla.  She watched the whole thing.  I myself would have fast-forwarded through A LOT of it, but then I would have missed what she saw in an unguarded moment.  Carla knows that I have been dedicated to remaining inviolate from the novel coronavirus.  I have been to nary a store nor establishment since mid-March. No one has crossed our threshhold.  (Although I have just started back volunteering at Safehaven, all masked up and distant from the skeleton crew.  Yay!)  So when she saw one of our sweet little graduates approach  me from behind, bouquet outstretched, unbeknownst to me, after I had been making obvious efforts to remain distant from the gathered company, she could not help, as she watched,  but start humming to herself as he drew nearer, ever nearer, the theme from "Jaws!"  Da-dum...Da-dum...Da-dum, Da-dum, Da-dum DA-DUM! DA-DUM!!  End of cute story.

Then, as we took off for our "parade" (Jessica privately pondered, "Is it a parade if no one is watching?" But that is one for the ages) and went through town, we passed by a socially distant group of  Black Lives Matter demonstrators!  (Note to future demonstrators; being spaced out from each other like that really increases the visual presence of a small group!)  Some of us honked and waved  to them and they gave it right back, hollering "Congratulations!" as we passed! I just loved that mutual support going back and forth and was happy for the kids that they did have parade-attendees, after all!  And maybe this exchange lead to some important conversations, who knows? 

The weather was cooperative, the CUMC bent over backwards to lend us the PA system and tech support and our grads showed up in full-force and in full regalia.  We had unexpected community support on our parade route and we all got home by wine-thirty.  All in all, a very successful mid-pandemic pre-school graduation, as those things go.  Thank you to all for being so game!  I wish you all a safe and happy summer and a happy school situation next fall!

Warmest regards,
Doni

Racial Injustice and Unrest Right Now

Dear Friends,

I think it would be cowardly of me not to address the unrest in our country at this time, which is symptomatic of our troubled past and troubling present as a nation.  I have no words of wisdom to offer, only a commitment to be part of the solution to the shame of racial injustice in America.

As regards our children, it is important to have conversations about fairness, equality, diversity and prejudice during these "formative" years: the First Plane of Development, from birth to age 6 and then beyond and into the Second, Third and Fourth Planes.  We make it a practice at PhMS to tell true stories and read children's books about the civil rights struggle, about the plight of enslaved persons in the US and in other places as we learn about world history and geography. During those same studies we learn of the challenges that history has presented and the triumph of the human spirit witnessed in all races, religions and walks of life.  We share stories about historic persons of all races and events pertaining to empiricism and the longing for freedom.  We relish the works of indigenous poets, authors and artists of the countries we study. We take care that our library represents a rainbow of experiences offering both "windows" and "mirrors" for all of our children to see. They see their own culture(s) reflected as well as glimpses into lives unlike their own.

I tell you this not to congratulate ourselves for all we have done to combat prejudice and celebrate differences. That would be grossly tone-deaf when there is clearly so much more to be done; merely the first step of this journey has been taken, inspired by the most recent martyrdoms of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and the dangerously ridiculous harassment of birdwatcher Christian Cooper. I tell of some of what we do with our charges to illustrate that difficult subjects can and should be addressed with pre-school-age children.  Parents have their own wisdom regarding what they wish to share about racial inequality and at this age, the values you impart become part of the child's world-view and character.  Our public library has many age-appropriate books to support your message.  Even Pinterest has your back.

I encourage you to read a post just one or two prior to this entitled "What Do We Tell the Kids?" which I wrote to aid parents in discussing the pandemic, but is meant to be helpful regardless of  difficult subject matter.  I strongly, strongly discourage, however, sharing with young children the current images of violence being perpetrated either by law enforcement or by looters and rioters.  These images are too immediate and current to be safely processed by the immature mind. We are all having trouble ourselves, are we not?  Pathological levels of stress and anxiety, bad dreams and fitful sleep and the absorption of prejudice could easily result.  Keep the news off when the children are around.  They truly cannot handle it in that raw form.  It must be thoughtfully distilled to a child-friendly potency.  Rather, print an image of unity: cops kneeling beside protesters, hugs, listening, peaceful marching, and hang it on the fridge.  Evil has awakened our collective and overdue outrage, but only goodness and love will move us forward. 

In Peace,
Doni

"All Work is Equally Valuable"

                                "All work is equally valuable." Maria Montessori

This is surely one of Dr. Montessori's more memorable quotes because it is so short.  I remember hearing this for the first time during my training.  It, among other words of wisdom, went into the beaker full of the rest of the Kool-aid that I was unable to immediately consume as I did not fullly understand it, nor believe it.  I began my work with the children trusting that this as well other bon mots of Maria's would eventually resonate.  I soon recognized it's truth in the microcosm of our Prepared Environment.  I radically embraced the notion that floor scrubbing is as valuable as multiplication in the sense that one child would find their way to Normalization through Practical Life and another child would find it in Mathematics at any given time in their individual development.  But there are jobs and there are careers, right?

Initially I found myself at odds with the idea of all work being equally valuable because that was counter to my upbringing and what I thought I knew about the world.  Surely it's better to be a doctor than a ditch-digger.  Surely an advertising executive for Pall Mall cigarettes is the lowest form of life.

As I pondered this over the years, I decided that there were probably fewer ridiculous occupations in Dr Montessori's day.  See, there I go judging again, which is diametrically in opposition to the point of my article today.  In fact, though, manual labor was more highly respected in the past than in modern times.  An honest day's work for an honest day's pay and all that.  I have seen photographs of the workers of the Works Progress Administration during FDR's New Deal.  Their exuberance and pride as they held high their picks and shovels leaps off the image.  And today, there is a resurgence of interest in the trades. There is a realization that not every young person needs a university education and the world's needs are very diverse, requiring a diverse work force.  

As I joyfully greet the delivery person bringing me my precious goods that I was too scared (and wise) to purchase in a store, I realize how desperately I need the service this guy is providing.  As I pick up some take-out food, so looking forward to eating something not prepared at home, I cannot help but thank the server for working during this crisis.  I am so grateful!  I am humbly indebted to the grocery store cashiers, the train conductors, the now-unemployed army of hospitality workers, the farmers, servers and manufacturers that I have taken for granted until now.  I truly never appreciated the legions of people who support my life and my lifestyle until so many of them vanished from my life.  Maybe the movement for a higher minimum wage signifies that many other folks had been valuing these workers all along.

These jobs  are not glamorous nor prestigious, but I think people can see now, more than ever, that they are absolutely vital, "essential", as they say and that many more high-status positions are, in fact, not.  But embracing the theme, these non-essential occupations are also, equally important.  Perhaps they create beauty, entertain us, bring us comfort, create more jobs, add to the collective understanding or otherwise enrich our world. In any case, this crisis has brought me one step closer to understanding Dr. Montessori's wisdom, expressed in that simple quote, "All work is equally valuable."  I am committing now to sustaining this feeling of gratitude towards the workers of the world - paid and unpaid- in good times and bad.  I'm sorry it took a pandemic to awaken me.  

What Do We Tell the Kids?

Dearest Guide,

My mate and I are struggling with what to tell our young kids about Recent World Events.  We don't want to overwhelm or worry them, but they see the masks and our elaborate disinfecting routines and have questions.  How much should we tell them when we don't know all the answers and the answers seem to change every day?

Sincerely, Information Overloaded

Dear Overloaded,

Since we are now, what, close to 2 months into this ( I go by the date of March 12, when the schools were closed) I sincerely wish I had addressed your concern earlier.  By now, you have probably found just what to say to your little ones regarding the Covid-19 pandemic.  But our other readers, Gentle Parent, can still benefit from such a topic because this is surely not the last World Event we will have to get through whilst rearing our children and not the last difficult topic we will need to address.

Whether it is a pandemic, violence, war, poverty, injustice and inequality, marital discord at home, bigotry, sex and gender issues, folks with special needs, religious differences, death or cruelty, stuff happens.  Kids are exposed.  They have questions.  My best and most general advice is to answer those questions, but that's all.  By their questions, your children will tell you what they need to know to make sense of a situation.  Just satisfy their needs without giving them more information than they are asking for.  We want to avoid giving them more than they can handle.

More questions will arise.  Answer them as they do. I also advise parents to be honest with a child when they don't have a ready, well-thought-out answer.  It is preferable to organize your thoughts, beliefs and what you really want to transmit to your child than to slop out an immediate reply.  It is wonderful to say, "I appreciate your question.  It is an important one and I want to give it some thought before I answer.  I will get back to you soon to discuss this."  Then be sure you do collect your thoughts and prepare your presentation.  I remember a fantastic mom who was put on the spot when her child was asking loudly about someone's physical disability who was a fellow passenger on the bus the mother and child were riding.  She was at a loss and embarrassed.  That might have been a time to employ the above tactic.

Sidenote:   I have also heard a wonderful speaker at a Montessori conference who would advise this mom to respectfully ask the passenger if he/she would mind if her child asked about their situation. The speaker was a fellow teacher and when she went out with her elementary students on the outings that 2nd Plane Montessori students organize themselves, the students would show interest in some of the people they encountered, people lacking housing, for example.  And she guided them in how to engage a stranger in a meaningful exchange, if amenable to both parties.

But back to your query, Gentle Parent, about this Recent World Event - the pandemic.  I would answer your children's questions as honestly, simply and briefly as possible.   Verity, clarity, brevity, levity is my motto!  Sometimes the levity doesn't work too well with pre-schoolers as they are so literal, but it rhymed so nicely!  Maybe just stick with true, clear and brief.  I am grateful for your question, Gentle Reader and hope I didn't give YOU more than you asked for, but heeded my own advice.  Wishing your family the very best in this difficult time, I remain,

Your Guide,
Doni

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Gentle Parents,

Are you and your gang having enough fun?  Just checking.  I'm worried about you.  Let's just go down my fun checklist, okay?

     * Have you visited the Benton County Library website?  There are many forms of entertainment available there, even for those who do not have a library card.  One of the older boys in our class has been listening to lots of audiobooks and his parents tell me that it is a point of focus for him and that he retains so much of what he hears.  I also think an entire family all sitting around listening to a story together makes for a cozy and relaxing way to wind-down.   And there is much more available on the website.

     * Did you know that Wildlife Safari in Winston, OR is still open?  Remain safe and comfy in your vehicle as you drive through and see the animals in (and out of!) their enormous enclosures.  Forgive the teacher in me for saying there could be some great work leading up to and following such an excursion.  One could research an animal they were keen on seeing there and write a report or make a booklet of pictures and labels depicting and identifying a handful of animals expected to be seen on the safari.  One could write a haiku and leave it there for the cheetahs to enjoy:

                                                   Cheetahs run and leap
                                              You never hear them coming
                                                     until it's too late
     
     * Every song you might ever want to karaoke is available on YouTube!  Search like this:  YouTube Karaoke Foo Fighters Learn to Fly or YouTube Karaoke Keep on the Sunny Side.  They are ALL THERE!  It's so much fun! Your kids can sing songs they already know without needing to  be able to read the lyrics and they will really enjoy seeing Mamas and Papas get so silly as they belt out their favorites.  Best of all, when you come to the part of the song you don't know at all, you can just stop and pick another song you might know. You don't have to stand up there helplessly, knowing that you are over your head while everyone in the karaoke bar judges you.

     * Have you painted rocks and left them out in your neighborhood to delight others?  This is best done with acrylic paints which you can purchase over the phone with your credit card at Michael's and they will bring it out to you for curb-side pick-up.  You might want to stock up on pipe cleaners, tissue paper, Elmer's glue, Tacky glue and a couple of watercolor sets while you are at it.

Okay, Gentle Parents, if you have done all of the above and the dipstick is still registering "low" on your fun tank, someone, (not me!) should set up a Zoom cocktail party for all of us.  Maybe we can come up with more ideas if we put our collectively addled brains to it!  Busily planning more fun YouTube videos for you, I remain,

Your Guide,
Doni

It Takes a Technician!

Gentle Readers,

Please indulge me as I write this post to effusively thank my husband, Andy Cyrus, for all his help during our stay-at-home period.  Without his help and patience, there is no way I would be able to join you on the Zoom class meetings or post all these videos on our Philomath Montessori YouTube channel.  Believe me, I am not exaggerating my incompetence in this area.  I have cried real tears of frustration more than once in trying to figure all this out.  I lack ability and patience in this area, for sure.  Jessica is of tremendous help, but she is remote, of course, and guides me as best she can on the phone.  But I  don't just need technical support.  I need real-time, hands-on rescue!  Andy has been my savior many times in the last few weeks.  (Although he has threatened to withdraw his support if I can't muster up a better attitude. I do get understandably cranky at such times.)  Andy has also been doing the weekly grocery shopping for 3 of our elderly neighbors, so I am not the only one in his fan club right now.

Thank you, Andy, from me, our neighbors and my school, for all you are doing to support us in our time of need.

Your Guide and Andy's Grateful Wife,

Doni

Print Alphabet for First Grade

Dearest Guide,

Don't you usually help the 3rd year students transition from your cursive alphabet to the print alphabet they use in all the public schools?  What am I to do to prepare my 6 year old for first grade?  I don't know how to do that!

Sincerely,  Scrabbling and Scribbling


Dear Scrabbling,

You are absolutely right, Gentle Parent. We do typically spend the last month of the school year offering the graduating children the opportunity to practice the formation of the print alphabet.  They are already very familiar with the letters from having read, almost exclusively, words in print, but haven't written them much.  We offer them handouts with letters to trace and copy, which, using arrows, indicate the proper path the pencil should take in forming the letter.  The children are usually very excited about this rite of passage and eagerly practice on the handouts.  For all of our parents whose children are moving on to another school system, I encourage you to provide such penmanship practice for your child no later than one month before the new school year begins.  That should offer plenty of time to master the formation of these letters.  If you or your child wish to get cracking on this earlier, that is absolutely fine, too.  At this point, under these circumstances, I am perfectly willing for your child to begin this transition at any time now.  There will be handouts available to download, print and practice on from our Distance Learning tab at our PhMS website.  I'm sure other parents had this question nagging them at the backs of their minds as well, Gentle Parent, so thank you for your inquiry.  It is my hope that the children continue to use both alphabets as they progress. A hand-written letter will always contain more of the soul of the writer than one tapped out on a keyboard and a fine cursive hand represents a well-rounded education and a certain panache.  I hate to think of these awesome kids living without panache!  It haunts me!   I remain,

Your Guide,
Doni