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Offering a small school atmosphere for the Corvallis-Philomath community since 1984

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Respect for Women Begins at Home

The school year is back in full swing and I am making a good start of being a more active blogger than during the last year.  I see hadn't posted anything since January!  My posts may be shorter and more random than I would like, but I am a firm believer that we mustn't allow Perfect to be the enemy of Good and that Done is better than Perfect. So if you'll indulge me, I will post my random musings as often as possible.

Lately I've been thinking about the treatment of women in our world and how etiquette can make a difference in how our children view women.  For example, I often see children who are permitted to hit their mothers.  This is, to me, the epitome of disrespect.  Parents who allow this behavior are gravely mistaken.  For one, we shouldn't hit.  For another, boys and men should not hit women.  Lastly, our mothers are deserving of our highest respect and should command it.  If we don't draw the line at hitting our own mothers, then I can only assume that we are not drawing any lines whatsoever.

Husbands should lead the way and set the example of honoring Mother.  Holding the door for her, coming around to open the car door, pulling out her chair at the dinner table, offering to carry packages, thanking her for the many and various tasks she performs for us are all ways that respect for women in general, and Mom in particular, can be shown. I have always found the custom of gentlemen rising from their chairs when a female enters the room charming.  I was not brought up this way, but I like it!  If husbands show their esteem for their wives and the mothers of their children in these and other ways on a daily basis, that culture will permeate the family and become part of the children's character.  Boys grow up knowing how women ought to be treated and girls grow up with a sense of their own value and high expectations of the treatment they should receive from the men in their lives.

I also think that one of the best gifts two parents can give their children is a strong and lasting marriage.  It is in the children's best interests for Dad to put Mom first, by assisting her from the car before tending to the child in the backseat: by pulling out her chair at the table before serving the children.  This sends a message to Mom that she is cherished and a message to the children that the union is strong.  This creates a feeling of safety and security for the whole family as the years go by.

I know that some folks object to these courtesies towards women, thinking them out-dated or sexist. I will not attempt to dissuade them, but rather encourage them to find their own ways to illustrate respect towards the lady of the house on a daily and ongoing basis.  I also exhort the ladies to demonstrate their approbation towards their men in ways that are suitable. Same-sex couples, likewise, can find their own ways of honoring each partner.  Respect is more than a feeling.  Respect is a verb and children will come to recognize it in action if they see it often.

Best Regards,
Doni